Review of Halloween (2018) by Waleed A — 19 Jan 2019

The amount of stupidity in this movie is astonishing. I laughed so hard at so many parts. it's not scary and it's really really dumb. they seem like they wanted to capture the feel of the originals. if part of that was using old horror movie absurd logic and idiocracy, they succeeded. this movie is poorly made on so many levels. the positives: musical score was great, and it seemed relatively competent for a while, investing me in the story before showing its true face. hilariocity score = 4.0 (1 viewing).

SPOILERS.

Bro. just bro. there was a scene where he stomped a guys face to smithereens, and in the next shot his face was in tact with his brains coming out of the top. I went back to confirm, in the original shot his entire head was liquefied lmao.

Apparently cop cars in that town have super tinted windows where even if the light is on inside the car, you can't see anything. except the glowing eye- and mouth-holes of the severed head inside the car. HOW?!?! he opens the door and you can clearly see everything well lit in the car. plus the way he had the flashlight in dude's severed head, he would have had to remove the brain, tongue and all tissue from his head. he looked like he did it with surgical precision.

The dad discovered said dead cops because he was chilling outside. just hanging out. when there is a murderer on the loose. when the grandma is inside turning off all the lights. scolding her daughter for having the light on. but hanging out outside? no problem.

And the best part? the "twist" rofl rofl. the mom tells the grandma about the underground layer being "a cage." grandma responds it's not a cage. later the daughter gets there, goes underground, and for some random reason cries "i'm in a cage." ..... ....... like..... for real? once michael meyers is down there, they close the bars on the entrance and light the room on fire to kill him. the mom tells the daughter "it's not a cage, it's a trap!" lolololololololololololololololol. I yelled OMG. also, once you block the entrance with bars, it actually kind of is a cage right? smh horrendous. oh and right before that, the grandma said "happy halloween michael" and stabbed him. just wow.