Review of xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) by Guido S — 18 Jan 2017

I wasn't a fan of the first XXX movie. They tried to turn Vin Diesel into the 00s version of 80s Schwarzenegger and Stallone but they failed miserably. So he floundered for a bit before the Fast and Furious found its footing so now they return to try and bring him into the action star they preordained him to be.

XXX 3 is the 2010s version of 80s action movies by way of late 90s early 00s EXTREME mixed with lots of Red Bull and Mountain Dew. It ridiculous, over the top, completely unbelievable, but you know what: this is fun! You shouldn't have to be told you need to check your brain beforehand with this one, if you do you'll really enjoy it. It's what action movies need to be today to be relevant: self aware, tongue in cheek, never too serious but never not too serious, and just a lot of dumb fun.

Some satellites are being blown up and XXX is brought in to stop them. Yada yada yada, who cares? There's Donnie Yen doing his thing, Vin Diesel dropping one liners left and right, comedy from the supporting cast, and a freaking race of motorcycles on water, this is my kind of movie.

If I had to make a complaint, Tony Jaa was criminally underused here. They could have recast his character with no loss because he wasn't allowed to do his thing like Yen was. Not sure why that is the case but that would have cranked this one to 11.

At one point, they go to visit my city towards the end of the film. At my screening, the crowd laughed and clapped when that happened. It was quite a moment.

This movie reminds me a lot of Kingsmen which came out around the same and was similar in tone. I hope this one achieves that type of success, it really deserves it. It has all the setup for a new series, and I would love to revisit more in the future.