Review of Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead (1995) by Hugh J — 11 Dec 2007

The plot is nothing new but I kinda liked it. It had the 'When Harry Met Sally' thing with the Afterlife Advice videos (I should've seen Garcia recording one coming) going for it and it had the whole 'Taxi Driver' clean up a hooker thing too.

But it suffers from the post-'Pulp Fiction' backlash although seeing as how it's 12 years later when I saw it, it stands on its own as a decent film. Now about the casting. Walken as a mob boss, I understand.

'True Romance, 'Suicide Kings', 'King of New York', it works. But Steve Buscemi as a silent hitman? I dunno. He could probably pull off the hitman part but the silent, intense, hitman? It didn't work.

The scene this is most evident in is when he saves that random guy from the thugs. Just not believable. Andy Garcia's got mob ties as well. 'Godfather III'. And he was fairly badass in 'Godfather III'.

Here, though, he seems to be more contained but a lot less cool. Sure, he has the swagger but he doesn't seem to have anything to back it up. The whole plan going awry was just crap. Garcia hangs back while his boys do a pick-up? Just not a good leader for his crew.

Doesn't mean he wasn't likeable, just not that great. And as much as I like Christopher Lloyd, what the fuck is he doing in this movie? He's great when he can yell and shit. Here, he's a disintegrating old man who barely speak two words save for his speech.

That's the main problem with this film, too many characters are supposed to be quiet while the stupid characters like that dude who was gonna marry Meg get all the dialogue. The one, solitary badass moment was Treat Williams' trap but the whole coolness factor is gone immediately after when he gets shot.

And she's pretty and all but what the fuck was the point of Gabrielle Anwar or Fairuza Balk even in this movie? And in the case of Anwar, she wore the same fucking shirt in places that seemed upper class.

It just didn't sit right with me. It's not a terrible film, it's just missing that fun factor that makes you give a shit about the characters. The entire team was basically cannon fodder. Although, I did enjoy the Don Cheadle cameo.

Don Cheadle owns.