Review of The Thing (1982) by Anthony L — 09 Oct 2015

Night #6 of Hoop-Tober.

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.".

Scientists in the Antarctic are confronted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of the people that it kills. [IMDb].

This is my favorite remake and my favorite horror film of all time. I'm just gonna go ahead and get that out of the way. I will never forget the first time I watched this. I was about 7 years old and it blew me away. I attempted to write similar rip-off stories and my childhood friends and I even made up a game of tag called The Thing that we frequently played in the winter. This 1982 remake had me in its clutches and it never let go, still to this day. It is John Carpenter's best by a long shot and definitely Kurt Russell's finest performance to date. Man is the warmest place to hide.

I literally have nothing bad to say about this movie so it'll be a short review because I don't wanna gush and be annoying. I have watched this movie around sixty times and I'm good for another sixty viewings. It has one of the best cliffhanger endings ever and the best practical effects ever put to film in my honest opinion. Rob Bottin fucking killed it and I cannot even tell you how much I adore his work. Especially in this film. The gore is realistic and terrifying to the eyes, some of the violence in the film has haunted me my whole life thus far. It's beautiful and perfectly executed.

Kurt Russell and Keith David made this movie truly fucking special with their great acting chops. All the performances are amazing and really ground the film in tense, practical fear. Ennio Morricone made an amazing score that haunts the scenery and plays like a funeral song. Dark, foreboding and creepy. The Thing makes me feel so paranoid because of the pitch-perfect music and how unpredictable the guessing game plays out. John was so smart when he filmed this by not letting anyone know who The Thing was until the day of filming. That's fucking directing, man. It is John's best directed film and I can't think of a more badass leading man other than R.J. MacReady. I love you, Kurt. I love you, John. This is my shit.

SERIOUSLY, IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THIS MOVIE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? PUT IT ON ASAP AND GET IT OVER WITH. IT WILL PAY OFF, I ASSURE YOU. MY FAVORITE HORROR FLICK OF ALL TIME? FUCKING RIGHT. I LOVE THIS MOVIE MORE THAN I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. DON'T SKIP OUT ON THIS FLAWLESS HORROR MASTERPIECE. ENNIO. JOHN. KURT. THANKS.