Review of Red Velvet (2009) by Julian T — 26 Jan 2010

Aaron is a young writer growing increasingly annoyed by the noisy, dysfunctional couple sharing his wafer-thin apartment walls.

Linda is a sexy blond and 1/2 of the neighbor couple driving Aaron mad.

The two cross paths at the local fluff n' fold and after some sarcastic banter, agree to a lunch date.

Seems Linda is supposed to be at a friend's birthday bash, but her arse-hole boyfriend refused to take her.

Aaron offers to cheer her up by wielding an impromtu horror tale involving the birthday celebration, hot n' horny partiers, a cabin in the woods and a masked killer.

From here, the film bounces between the "real world" of the couple creating the story and the gore-soaked tale being created.

While the "date" scenes are clever and enjoyable enough, the "story" is where Velvet blooms (in fact, it's almost a bummer when we're thrust back into "reality").

Aaron and Linda's creation is a loony, surreal, blood n' boobs parody jammed with humor, oddball kills (Jason never wielded an alligator that I recall), trippy Argento-esque visuals and one helluva unique slasher get-up (electronic bunny ears, head-mount polaroid, white jumpsuit, pink utility belt).

A wildly entertaining, off-kilter indie gem for those looking for something a little "different".