Review of No Such Thing (2002) by Sam I — 30 Dec 2006

Scandanavia. On an island, for millenia, has lived a Monster (Burke); killing all others who dare set foot there. His latest victims are a news crew including the cameraman fiance of Beatrice (Polley) who sets out to find her boyfriend. She finds that her boyfriend is indeed dead and the Monster is a depressive alcoholic who longs to find the one man who can kill him. She promises to help him find this man, enlisting the help of her boss (Mirren) at the TV station she works for. She and the Monster, to whom she is growing closer, then come to the US, and into a media circus.

It's a hard film to describe. Let me try. Think The Princess Bride; as directed by Ken Loach... on uppers. Alternatively you could describe it as a satirical King Kong.

No Such Thing is, make no mistake, an odd movie but it also happens to be a highly entertaining and exceedingly well made one.

Hal Hartley's script may have the odd pretentious moment but most of the way it's an amusing and original piece of writing.

The writing benefits hugely from an eclectic and experienced cast. Sarah Polley is, quite simply, one of the finest actresses of her generation and she's wonderful as the rather naive heroine of the piece.

Robert John Burke (who took over from Peter Weller com the hideous Robocop 3) is excellent as the monster, he nets a lot of the best lines and spits his dialogue with relish, in contrast to the quieter Polley. The two play off each other well, indeed the scenes when they first meet are the films very strongest.

There's sterling support from Julie Christie and a side splitting Helen Mirren as Beatrice's boss.

There's some bum notes towards the end with the introduction of a scientist who is just too broad and wacky, even for this movie and the aforementioned lapses into pretentious philosophising that Hartley can be prone to but these are minor problems. Focus on Polley and Burke and you have an offbeat buddy comedy which is huge fun to watch.