Review of Leviathan (1989) by Jay R — 30 Oct 2007

How do you review a creature feature, anyway? If the point is to provide a few gory scares, kill off a few stereotypical characters, and offer up lots of hammy dialogue, then how can 1989's Leviathan fail? Well, I got the distinct impression after watching it that the filmmakers never really wanted to be associated with the picture and perhaps that is all the warning that is required.

It stars Peter Weller (Robocop) as the head of an underwater mining expedition that only has a few days left before their 3 months are up. He's having a hard time getting the troops to respect him -- we know this because in one scene we see him reading a book on "being a leader." Anyway, the team comes across a sunken ship and, after bringing back a Pandora's Box of sorts, two members of the crew start developping unusual symptoms and eventually end up dead. Turns out they've contracted a genetically altering virus that turns them into marine-life monsters, or something like that. Of course, the "capital c" Company they work for won't let them come to the surface ahead of schedule, so they're left to battle the behemoth on their own. Cue ooze, machine guns, and tacky suspense music.

A more blatant "supporting cast only" gang of characters you won't find. Amanda Pays is a jogging Brit who takes off her clothes twice because the scriptwriters have decreed it, Richard Crenna is the Doc, the man with the shaky past who jettisons the escape pods in a rash attempt to Save Humanity, Meg Foster stares people down with her creepy eyes as per usual, Hector Elizondo is the middle-aged bald man who is happily married, yadda yadda yadda. And who can forget good old Ernie Hudson, Winston Zeddmore himself. Go Ernie, go!

While not completely stupid, this whole project is about as forgettable as they come. I was going to give Leviathan only 1 star, but I've decided to throw in an extra star because typing Ernie Hudson's name just now made me giggle.