Review of Evil Bong (2006) by Alex M — 28 Jul 2008

[font=Century Gothic][b]One day, a few months ago, I was extremely bored and I browsed eBay to find what limitations I had as to what I could buy. As I thought, there was no way to buy any firearm, sex toy, porno film or sealed bottle of J.R.'s BBQ sauce online, but then I thought about finding Tommy Chong's fabled bongs (for which he had a tremendous amount of trouble, causing him to leave the cast of "That 70's Show" for a while). I didn't find any drug parnaphelia on auction, but instead, the words Chong and Bong led to the discovery of "Evil Bong", a stoner comedy that's only enjoyable if you're already totally wasted...[/b][/font].

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[font=Century Gothic]When I finally recieved the movie, I started by checking out some of the previews from Full Moon, quickly starting to feel like my movie was going to look as cheezy as "Gingerdead Man". In deception, I was served indeed. The movie beging by unveiling stereotyped characters: the nerd, the jock, the cool dude and some kind of stoned surfer dude. The nerd evidently gets picked on by everyone, especially the jock, with whom he becomes the closest of friends by the end of the movie, something that we all know would never happen in real life. So, these four guys share a one-room [color=black]appartment and the nerd, who just moved in, provided the "Cool dude" enough money to order a mysterious bong that he saw advertised in High Times. When they start smoking with it, the bong comes alive and sends their souls to what seems to be the inside of the glass pipe(or some kind of parallel world controlled by it, who cares?); some kind of strip club populated by cameos by some "ever-popular" Full Moon characters and girls who have bras that bite and kill. After two of the guys get consumed by the bong, the nerd and jock decide to hide them and pursue their ongoing "date". The jock and his prospect get possessed, which leaves the geek alone with the other girl. Being the only one who hasn't smoked, the nerd has to work a way to find out what happened to his friends and save them from this Evil Bong, with the help of its previous owner (Tommy Chong)...[/color][/font].

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[font=Century Gothic]The cover shows Good ol' Chong as if he was one of the main characters, but he only pops in near the climax of the film, which should count as false advertising. The premise and dialogues are weak, there's pieces of duct tape pasted on the beer cans so we can't see that these dicks drink Coors Light, they cut out McDonald's logo from the bag so they don't have to pay rights, and most importantly THE ACTING IS EXTREMELY BAD. The only reason it gets any good is because you can't believe how lame it gets, with the pot leaf wipes that are overly used to break out long takes and signal the passing of time, shooting game sound FX over the image of "Super Mario World", and the NIN poster on the background that leads you to believe that there's eventually going to be something worthy on the soundtrack...[/font].

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[font=Century Gothic]Granted, this movie was quickly shot, quickly released, quickly written and most probaly, will quickly be forgotten. Unfortunately, the sequel will see the light of day and I'll buy it just to see how worse they can do. At least, Chong's funny every moment he's on screen, but, then again, how can a guy who's been playing the same role for over 30 years fail in a stoner flick?[/font].

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