Review of Beauty and the Beast (2017) by Tvli J — 29 May 2017

Did I miss the gay stuff?

Beauty and the Beastiality is a tough movie to watch as a cartoon, it's even more disturbing as a live action film. first off, the story is about abuse and allowing a person to imprison you and abuse you with the hope that there is a better person underneath it all and falling in love with this person. seeing this Stockholm Syndrome story played out in live action may be a little tougher for some viewers. but the part I couldn't get passed is the fact that this dude probably stunk because his fur would get all wet out in the snow. dogs stink when they come in from the snow, imagine a dog that big. it appears to be a period before sanitation, so where and how does he poop and pee? that beast has sharp teeth and is breathing all over that girl. his breath probably was all stank. Plus, giving oral would not be pleasurable for a woman. Unless he licks like a dog, then that might be pleasurable. Not to mention an erection. What would that be like? Is like a bull penis or is it more like the dog lipstick?

Then, SPOILER ALERT for those of you who don't know the ending of a 300 year old story, after the beast becomes a man (a man who probably looks better as a walking buffalo), the girl wants him to grow a beard. what next? bringing animals into the bedroom? also, my wife brought up that he had hooves and hind legs like a cow, so how does he get up and down the stairs? The actress, though attractive, didn't really have what I thought would be the Bella look. I know it's corny and probably not expected in this modern world, but perhaps someone like Ariana Grande would fit better in this roll (plus, she sings). also, where's all the gay $#!+ that everyone was talking about? I waited so long for it, with my Vaseline and Kleenex and saw nothing. did I miss something? sure, there was a guy who gets put in a dress and enjoys it, but as my social brainwashing goes, that does not make one gay. then the two dudes dancing together. unless they're rubbing up on each other, doing the bump and grind or grabbing each other's ass, then I don't think that's gay. but then again, you're watching a musical -- now, that's gay. also, the state of Alabama is said to have a problem with Disney having a gay character, and the worst of it is two dudes dance together, yet they have no problem with a woman getting it on with a buffalo. But, then again, it's Alabama.