Review of Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021) by Paper_Kay — 19 Jun 2021

Impossibly bad screenplay, performed by actors who are asleep, and some mesmerizingly beautiful shots of Montana. The lead is supposed to be a veteran firefighter, the kind who easily wears makeup during a firefighting drop, yet she acts like losing a civilian and a colleague in a wildfire is the most unlikely-to-ever-occur, blame-myself-forever event.

The watchtower she inhabits gets struck by lightning the first day, destroying everything inside - you would think, what with it being an iron tower, that would happen before and someone would invent a lightning rod by then? Her only means of getting out is wildly unsafe and even though she falls two stories, on her back, and communications are off, nobody thinks to check up on her.

But don't worry, she gets struck by lightning later again, and she doesn't even get fuzzy hair. Like that time she gets beaten to a pulp, only to appear a little bit panda eyes smudged a few hours later.

The lady who uses a spray can to pull the fire out of the fireplace and towards an assassin (who instantly knows she used a safe word when asking if the kid is hungry, somehow), doesn't get her hair singed even a little either.

It is so, so dumb. Really, it's worth seeing just for the beautiful landscape, but as for the plot and the performances, holy cow, it's really bad.