Review of The War of the Robots (1978) by Bryan G — 03 Jul 2010

Director Alfonso Brescia's space epic War of the Robots was almost 3/4th's of the way through before I finally realized who the robots of the title were. See, when I hear the word robot I think somewhere along the lines of C-3PO, Cylons or even the Terminator. What doesn't come to mind is what this film has its robots look like. The robots of War of the Robots are grown men, dressed in a typical science-fiction shiny silver suit, and with a blond Prince Valiant haircut to top it all off. This was just one of the many bizarre choices made for War of the Robots that made it one of the most unusual and grueling movie experiences ever.

I'd try to explain the plot, but I'm not fully sure exactly what the hell was going on most of the time. War of the Robots has something to do with a brilliant scientist, Professor Carr (Jacques Herlin), being kidnapped by the fabulous robots I mentioned in the last paragraph. So the fearless Captain John Boyd (Antonio Sabato) and a rag-tag team of space fighters set out to rescue Carr, before his newest invention that somehow creates life is put in the hands of the wrong people.

Of every film I have seen in my life, War of the Robots has a special ability unlike any other I've seen before it. Where most films only linger on a scene or situation as long as it needs to, certain moments in War of the Robots get stretched out into an almost unbearable length. Scenes of mindless exposition go on and on, offering very little information to expand or further the plot. And battle sequences seem like they never wanted to end. At the end of the film there is a space battle, where Boyd's ships must battle with the robot army's slow moving, hubcap-looking spaceships. Everything in this battle is slow, with no tension or suspense. And to make matters worse, when you think it is over... here comes another wave of ships! This damn scene went on for an eternity!

War of the Robots borrows heavily from other more notable science-fiction movies and shows of its time. You can't help but notice the similarities with this film to Star Trek, and more so the first Star Wars film. Heck, even at one point our heroes do battle with light sabers, though not nearly as cool looking as the ones from Lucas' universe. Little money and thought was put into the film's special effects and weapon design, which is why the light sabers look more like flat sheets of metal that someone is reflecting a bright light on. And how none of the laser guns actually shoot out a laser. People aim, pull the trigger, a noise happens and bad guys fall down. If you couldn't afford laser effects, don't have laser guns in your movie.

As bad as War of the Robots is, I can still understand the cult following that it has generated since its release in 1978. It is one of those unbelievably bad films that you have to see to truly believe. Though I think the one viewing might be enough for most people, since I don't think I'm going to be able to endure this flick's efforts again anytime soon.