Review of The Transporter (2002) by Clem666 — 24 Feb 2021

'The Transporter' was surprisingly more interesting than what I expected. The scenario is cool and realistic in a certain way, the pace is great. Action scenes are awesome even if Statham showcases his footkicks a bit too much and often. I mean in some scenes he knocks several opponents out with the same kick again and again. The scene in the mud/oil near the end is really wierd and dumb.

Some scenes are over-cut and that makes the movie a bit hard to understand and to enjoy, especially on that scene in the beginning in which Frank jumps with his car on a truck. I had to pause and rewatch the scene to understand what was going on. However car crashes are realistic and enjoyable when not ruined by terrible special effects.

Dialogues level vary from really dumb and laughable to decent, with some truly quotable punchlines. The romance is really lame and boring, and the music during romantic scenes certainly doesn't help at all. Speaking of music it also varies between awful techno and decent average-action-movie style.

The role of the woman (Shu Qi) is terrible. Is that even possible to make her more stereotyped? She cooks, she is constantly helpless, she appears only for sex and/or to showcase her body, she likes flowers and she wants to find that sweet heart beneath that crust of virility of Frank. Plus serving this asian girl a bowl of noodles is totally racist ain't it, right?

Don't forget also that the villain is overly stereotyped, that the Orangina brand appears as the shameless sponsor, that all the ending dialogues are a bunch of nonsense crap and clichés and that the French cop's acting (François Berléans) is worse than terrible.

There are way too much nonsense and too many irrealistic issues and inonsistencies in this movie. I made a list of the ones that shocked me the most here:

- Bandits are laughing hard while they killed their buddy like five minutes ago.

- Frank manages to make his car jump on a semi-trailer and the driver doesn't feel, hear and fear anything.

- Frank says he precisely calculated the amount of fuel and however he manages to drive fast and long enough to run from the police.

- How did the girl manage to get on board while attached to a wheelchair without any help?

- Frank and the woman are wanted by hardcore criminals yet he decide to bring her to his house.

- How can a seeker-head missile fired from a distance enter through the front door of the house and blow up the living room?

- The girl says her parents and brothers are kidnapped on a boat but has time for sex, breakfast and an unexpected visit.

- How can you possibly take the air out of an immersed person with pierced lungs by kissing him?

- How and why did all the cops suddenly appear when Frank has done all the job?

However the movie is really funny despite itself at some point. I surprisingly enjoyed it despite its awful terrible dreadful numerous flaws. That's wierd, but that's my opinion. If I tried to be objective this would deserve something close to a 3 or 4 out of ten.