Review of The Transporter (2002) by Scott P — 28 Feb 2016

I'm not entirely sure how The Transporter can get a quantifiable rating because no matter the grade, it wouldn't make any sense.

I struggle to give it a bad rating. The movie was too much fun, Jason Statham was stunningly charismatic, the action scenes and martial arts fights were so much fun to watch, and it was legitimately enjoyable to watch.

I can't reasonably give it a good grade either. Half the time the fun came from trying to figure out how things made any sense. How did she get into the car if she's still tied to the chair? How did the guy get on the side of the truck in that small timeframe when his car had no window to get him in a position to do that? Why is a man who lives a solitary life and likes it quiet conveniently have TWO scuba kits ready and waiting? And probably the biggest of all was what set off the entire sequence of events: the car bomb. That was just brain-meltingly dumb. They already have it ready to go to him before they even check the bag so he was set-up for it anyway, and if they had someone follow him to get a call to blow him up if it turns out he lied, why would they blow it up when he's not in the car? It was terrible, terrible, terrible.

And I rightly can't give it an average grade because the movie was decidedly not average. There's absolutely no reason to give it a grade of average just because highs and lows cancel each other out. Even the lows were highs because they just made me question what the hell the writer was doing.

But any movie that I want to watch again immediately after watching it can't be a bad movie.