Review of The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) by Barbara O — 06 Apr 2008

The Good: There are two major events that happen in The Thomas Crown Affair -- the stealing of a painting, and then its subsequent un-stealing. These two events are inventive; enough to keep you guessing and with a pay-off that is entertaining, even if you must disregard a plot-hole or two. These scenes work, but they aren't enough to save the movie from...

The Bad: I guess that we're supposed to put Thomas Crown in some sort of wish-fulfillment role, where we, the audience, are expected to find it cool to steal paintings for kicks and bed Rene Russo. If neither of those things strike you as exciting, then maybe you're not the intended audience.

It doesn't help that the movie is so often unintentionally hilarious. When Crown tells his psychiatrist that he's found a woman that he likes, she laughs maniacally at him. Brosnan and Russo share ridiculous ("Do you want to dance? Or do you want to DANCE?") and faux-philosophic ("Men make women messy", "You really think there's 'happy ever after' for people like us") dialogue that is more than difficult to take seriously. Furthermore, the relationship between Thomas Crown and Catherine Banning is so muddled that at the movie's end, one either doesn't understand or doesn't care what the 'resolution' is. But this is nothing compared to...

The Ugly: Perhaps most damning of all for The Thomas Crown Affair is the maddening score by Bill Conti. One thing that I often complain about is music that overpowers scenes: if your movie needs a swell from the orchestra as a substitute for real emotion, that's pretty sad. There is hardly a scene in The Thomas Crown Affair that isn't brimming with some kind of explanatory music. I could have probably listened to the score alone and been able to write a reasonable review of the movie. That's bad, Bill Conti, that's bad. The score is not supposed to replace the film, it's supposed to add to it.

P.S. DRINK PEPSI ONE.