Review of The Return of the Living Dead (1985) by Cherry D — 16 Mar 2011

Return of the Living Dead is the best zombie film, period. It broke the rules on the genre and made it way more kick-ass and exciting. The zombies RAN. It wasnâ(TM)t that easy to get away from them. They can talk, screaming for your brains. Thatâ(TM)s scarier. They canâ(TM)t be shot in the head and killed. Thatâ(TM)s way more grim. Return of the Living Dead was one of the first horror movies I saw when I was a little kid that scared the crap out of me. Me and my friends always talked about what you would do in that situation. I always said kill your family, then kill yourself. Thatâ(TM)s how horrifying it was. In all other horror movies the villain can usually be killed at the end. Not in this. Thatâ(TM)s some bleak horror. And maybe thatâ(TM)s one of the many reasons that so many people are attracted to zombie movies today, but when people ignore this movie I think theyâ(TM)re fucking idiots. Itâ(TM)s fast-paced, with awesome fucking punks, a killer â~80s soundtrack, and the best zombies in the whole genre. Maybe I just think my generation is cooler, but christ, thereâ(TM)s not one scene in Return of the Living Dead thatâ(TM)s boring. Itâ(TM)s a fun fucking thrill ride. Itâ(TM)s so great to watch that I rented it again and again and again when I was a kid. Iâ(TM)ve probably seen it as much as all the Star Wars movies. It really affected me.

And back then, I couldnâ(TM)t WAIT until I was old enough to drink, so I could be punk and go do it in a graveyard. Holy shit, I totally forgot about that! I swear to never drink again until I can get a bunch of wild friends, a huge boom box, and go party in an old fucking killer graveyard at dark. THATâ(TM)S the future I imagined for myself. It sucks when we grow up and we realize we let our dreams die, you know?