Review of The Relic (1997) by Thequietgamer — 17 Oct 2016

It's got the workings of a decent creature-feature. There are even moments that hint at potentially deeper elements than your average B-movie. Unfortunately all of that ends up squandered. The monster still ends up being the most enjoyable part of the movie, and it hardly feels even apart of it at all.

The Relic wastes so much time fleshing out it's characters. This may sound like a stupid complaint, especially since the genre is very commonly criticized for not doing that, but I've never seen so much work go into building up characters this unlikable. So I can respect the movie for trying to make us care about it's characters by actually telling us who they are and letting us in on their little quirks, but I can't praise it for failing to do so.

There are some interesting themes running in the background here. There's lite talk of the balance between science and mythology, superstitions, and peaks into scientific analysis among other things. However these elements are only mentioned in passing. These deeper topics that could have made the film more interesting do not get touched on. They only feel included as references to the themes of the book it's based on.

So what about the actual monster? Well, when it's finally let off of it's leash and really gets to causing mayhem, the movie gets much more entertaining. It's just a shame it takes so long for it to happen.

Things get fun in that B-movie sort of way. There are some gory kills and a really cool looking monster. You definitely wish more of this took place in the light though. Director Peter Hyams leaves the majority of the action in the dark. You still get to see the good stuff though, but the squinting isn't exactly appreciated.

Overall The Relic is a B-horror movie that takes way too long getting to the fun stuff. Before the monster gets on with it's killing spree the movie goes on for way too long trying to flesh out the characters and setting. Neither of which are interesting. It also manages to gloss over the more interesting topics in favor of cheesy humor and goofy moments. There's still some fun to be had here in it's final act when it gets to the stuff you showed up for in the first place. The question is whether or not it's worth wading through the other stuff to get there. It all depends on your attention span. Personally, I recommend skipping this one in favor of the B-flicks that deliver the goods all the way through.

5.