Review of The Kite Runner (2007) by Lightsandbulbs — 18 Sep 2022

In a word: banal.

For all it's faults, The Kite Runner is a great, emotional novel, with strong characters, skilled-storytelling, and difficult, evocative scenes that, like them or not, burrow their way into your skull and do not leave. This adaptation, unfortunately, shares none of those qualities.

One of its main issues is how rushed the entire story feels. Many of the novel's most impactful moments, such as Amir's fight with Assef, feel horribly watered down, and unimpactful. They take up merely a few minutes when, in reality, they should stand as longer focal points in the film. Instead, they fail to stand out in any way, and feel about as impactful as my daily morning journey to the fridge to retrieve coffee creamer. If I were to guess, I'd say that cuts like this happened in order to make the movie less long, but honestly, I would be fine with a 2 hour plus movie if it meant pivotal scenes actually felt, well... pivotal.

Other events, like Sohrab's suicide attempt, are cut from the film completely, which is unfortunate, considering it was one of the most chillingly realistic aspects of the book. Instead, this film settles for an idealized version of Sohrab's fate, killing any sense of depth or nuance, and adding to the movie's already bland tone. On top of all that, much of the acting was frankly poor. Most of the performance's felt uninspired and wooden, especially Khalid Abdalla's. He completely failed at bringing the complexities of Amir's character to the surface, although, to be fair, the script wasn't really doing him any favors in that regard.

Stilted acting combined with all of the aforementioned cuts helped to craft a film that feels less like a passionate retelling of a classic story, and more like a late night cramming session hosted by SparkNotes.