Review of St. Elmo's Fire (1985) by Hannibal O — 29 Oct 2008

Why is this film such a giant piece of shit? Because its directed by Joel Schumacher. Now Schumacher has certainly done some decent stuff (The Lost Boys, A Time to Kill), but generally when you see his name in the credits, its best you run away as far as you can and this film is no exception.

This film is one of the quintessential brat pack films of the 80s. All of these actors were young then and just launching into their careers....and they all suck in this film. I'm not really sure whether its the acting thats so bad or the dialogue written for them or both.

This film is just one cliche after another from situations to character types. One year before this came out, the world was treated to a MUCH better ensemble film about friends and that DINER, which I highly recommend you check out.

Before Diner, we had another great ensemble film about friends called THE BIG CHILL. This tries so hard to be like those and it totally fails at it. You don't really believe in any of the relationships here; everything feels forced and contrived.

The film is very predictable. You know very early on whats going to happen to all the characters and because the characters are so lame, you don't give a shit what happens to them. The worst character by far (and he won a Razzie Award for it) is Rob Lowe.

He's a clear case of getting hired for his looks alone because he sure as shit can't act (The Outsiders doesn't count either because his role was too small). Maybe he walked onto the set before he got a chance to get into his character and learn his lines, but everything that comes out of his mouth in this movie is laughable.

Now if you're a big 80s person, this film might be worth checking out for the fashion and look of the 80s (for instance, Demi Moore's apartment is like how a female version of Patrick Bateman would decorate her apartment.

There is a giant mural of Billy Idol on the wall...nuff said). This film is also very illustrative of the Reagan 80s. Demi Moore is all about making a shitload of money, Judd Nelson turns Republican, Andrew McCarthy worries about the Russians, etc.

Anyway, despite the coolness of the song (hence the 1 star I give it), everything else about the film is garbage.