Review of Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) by Rebecca31 — 06 Jul 2017

Dear Spiderman,.

I’m writing this to say we’re done. Officially it’s over. Just so we’re clear it’s not me it’s you. It’s been 15 years and although there were some good times more recently it’s more bad than good. I guess you’ve just changed so much and honestly I can’t take it anymore and I’d like to move on with my life. So by all means make your sequels, sell yourself to the MCU and down the line I’m sure yet another reboot is on the cards but I won’t be there to see it. I’m done.

It’s not that Spiderman Homecoming is terrible and it’s definitely not the worst Spiderman movie you could watch. Aside from all the high school scenes, there are some redeeming moments, most of which feature Michael Keaton. Let’s face it, he makes a good villain but it’s hardly a memorable performance. Tom Holland do I like you as Spiderman? No I don’t. You’re annoying and you have no off switch but I understand that this reinvention of the character is not aimed at me. So bring your kids to this overly long, generic Iron Man movie featuring Spiderman. It’s got the action, the endless references to the Avengers but it never gripped me. The jokes were constant and too many fell flat, the story was a drag and unfocused. I was never on the edge of my seat. There was no amazing story, no soaring score, nothing that stands out. I forgot I was supposed to be watching a Spiderman movie and I was relieved when it finally ended. So relieved I didn’t even stay for the two post credit scenes. Recommended for the fanboys, as for everyone else just skip it. Goodbye Spiderman.