Review of Shark Night 3D (2011) by Ryan M — 01 Feb 2012

*1/2 out of ****.

Is it possible to look at "Shark Night" and not think of Alexandre Aja's recent spiritual-remake of "Piranha"? Both involve killer fish in unlikely bodies of water; and they also share similar locations. In case you didn't know; that refers to the lake setting of both films. But when drawing such conclusions, one automatically creates expectations for "Shark Night" and while they don't ask much out of it; we expect something of a good time. I saw the reviews, I saw the less-than-exhilarating ads and trailers; yet I walked into the movie with an open-mind, ready to enjoy some laid-back guilty entertainment. I didn't let the film's PG-13 rating - which essentially restricts any sort of insanity whatsoever - scare me off. But oh, I should have.

The director of this fine mess is David R. Ellis, who is once again working with 3D technology in order to bring his latest special effects creations to life. It's about as "fun" as it ever is; watching the flick, I was reminded of Ellis's "Snakes on a Plane" and the absolutely pathetic "The Final Destination". It lets us know up front that for Ellis, nothing has changed, and if you're one of the few sorry souls that found the two said films fun in any dimension or way, you might get some mild - if not entirely forgettable - kicks out of the director's latest offering.

I'm usually into these kinds of movies. "Shark Night" bears a paper-thin plot in which preppy college students head to a lake house for a weekend of intense partying by way of booze, sex, and water-skiing; only to discover that the still waters that surround them are, in fact, not to still at all. We learn that this is a salt water lake; and that hungry, powerful sharks linger just below the surface. When this is revealed, the film takes a tonal turn; it is no longer a frat comedy, it's finally developed into a horror film of the slasher variety.

Having just said that, I think now is a better time than ever to bring up my first major problem with the movie; its premise, and the execution to go along with it. I like killer shark/fish/animal movies, and it's safe to say that I'm not the most critical guy when it comes to these sorts of films, but given the ridiculous premise; I expected something a lot more exciting than whatever this bastardization of a horror movie is, if it can be called anything.

The film constantly struggles to find a tone; there's humor, such as a contrived sub-plot involving some local criminals (who are indeed responsible for the sharks in the water) who attach video cameras to the beasts in a sort of homage to their inspirations, "Shark Week" and "Faces of Death". But even though it's aiming for laughs in some spots, the film takes itself way too seriously; and ultimately, it's less a joyful comedy of shameless exploitation and endless entertainment and more-so just a painful drag. The PG-13 rating puts a lot of limitation on what the film can show and essentially what it can do; and there's not enough blood in the water. Simply put, this movie isn't fun.

The underwater scenes are a mixed bag. When nothing's actually in the water, the sights can be beautiful; but when the sharks are feeding, the picture just looks...well, utterly ugly. The reason behind this: these are not good looking sharks, not at all. The special effects are lame, the reliance on CGI instead of animatronic effects or using real sharks for ANYTHING is lazy, and the whole ordeal doesn't get much back-up from the supporting elements. Credit is due in a few of the excessively toned-down death scenes - some of which are fun regardless of the noticeable lack of bloodshed - and you might enjoy yourself in a few short instances. However, take my advice; it isn't worth sitting through uninspired acting and horrible plotting to be allowed a gander at some of the film's minor pleasures; some of which are the sight of Sara Paxton in a teeny blue bikini, a psychotic sheriff, and two solidly enjoyable performances from Joel David Moore and Joshua Leonard. That's something; but not enough.