Review of Saw V (2008) by Bri F — 24 Jan 2011

2.3/10.

Now that's I've taken a damn good bite out of the "Saw" franchise, I can't help but look back on the first installment and let out a big sigh. I've lived through three inferior sequels, and "Saw V" marks the fourth. The fifth "Saw" movie overall is also the most unwatchable. I seriously don't understand how even the most devoted "Saw" fans could find this generic piece of crap interesting. It's boring, repetitive, and uninspired. Yes, it's got the typical "twist ending" and "torture traps" that you'd expect out of a "Saw" film...but come on. This is just pathetic. Whether the camera is pointed at an axe hacking up a guy's torso or a woman putting her hand in a saw-to-arm cutting trap, it's never quite as fun or interesting as it wants to be. The film wrongs horror fans and movie-goers alike on so many levels. First, it disappoints in the gore department. It doesn't go overboard (which is always good), but then again it's about as "creative" as the last three installments have been. I liked how "Saw" didn't give a damn about being indulgent when it came to the gore and the spills; it had as much as it needed. Now this franchise has gone to hell; or perhaps it had a long time ago. The reason why "Saw V" just plain sucks is because it rots of clichés, bad acting, and bad writing. There's absolutely nothing that can redeem such an unwatchable and pathetic film; and the worst part is that it's not even laughably bad. Unless of course you're looking at the actors, who are so pathetic here that they may be more cringe-worthy than Jigsaw's admirably complex contraptions. There's no reason for this movie to exist other than to make money and keep those pathetic "Saw" fans happy. If they had any sense, they would have given up a long time ago. I can understand someone liking "Saw II" and maybe even "Saw III". But "Saw IV", which wasn't as bad as "Saw V", was just down-right pathetic. I hate "Saw V", I really do. It's not scary, it's not thrilling, and it certainly isn't entertaining. One of the worst films of 2008, hands down.

"Saw V" continues to on-going survival of the ultimate game after Jigsaw's death. This installment focuses on the possibility than Amanda may not have been Jigsaw's only accomplice; and the culprit may be a very familiar face. While Detective Hoffman is doing his thing (as usual), there are five strangers who are put in the middle of Jigsaw's newest game. As can be expected from a "Saw" movie, they have to help each-other survive and in the end, they will ultimately find out what the recurring theme of the game (which applies to each and every victim all the same) really is. That's pretty much the whole plot right there, since not much else goes on. I haven't spoiled some of the big twists for those who actually care (which is very few, but there will indeed be some). If you really feel the need to watch "Saw V" then go ahead; be my guest. Just go in knowing that it's a painful ordeal of a movie; an unbearably cheesy and lame horror film. The twist is as bland, predictable, and absurd as you'd expect it to be. However, I hear that "Saw VI" is a significant improvement; and for that I'm willing to watch it. Hey, as long as there's yet another watchable "Saw" movie in store; I'll check it out. But this film...yeah, I don't think so. It does very little to advance the series in terms of the story-line, and the characters are even less interesting than they've been for as long as they've been present. For the first time in a long time, an hour and thirty minutes feels like four hours. In this case, it's too much to ask for one to sit through such a dull movie without getting any sort of reward. It's a boring experience, and it's luckily forgettable. You'll soon figure out the method to Jigsaw's madness; and perhaps half of it rests in bad direction and bad writing. "Saw" has been destined to be plagued by such things since the beginning, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would get THIS bad. I guess anti-miracles come true. Hell, I've known that for two long. But I'm not giving up. No, sir; I'm sticking with this series till the horribly convoluted end. And no matter how much I've got to suffer; for the sake of film criticism, it's worth it.

Jigsaw has been dead for a whole film now, and Tobin Bell's limited screen-time in this installment only hurts it more than it should be for its benefit. I like Tobin Bell as John/Jigsaw; there's something sick, but ultimately endearing about him. When he shows up at all, it's not a particularly entertaining encounter. In this film, most of his appearances (which are, again, limited) are just plain boring; and ultimately unneeded. Tobin Bell is a better actor than this film deserves; as are most of the talents involved. The new victims are portrayed by horrible actors, if you were to ask me. Even the "detective" characters have lost their potential spark. "Saw V" is a movie that exists in a world where acting is bland and all goodness is scarce. The acting is so fake in this flick that it's not even funny. All the more reason to avoid it.

I'm not the kind of person who will praise a film like this simply because it has cool traps. And yes, "Saw V" DOES have cool traps; it's just that none of the sequences involving them are never as interesting as the traps appear when they merely stand alone. The gore level has been turned down a few notches to give this installment the essence of the first "Saw". It almost (kind of) works, but then again no "Saw" sequel can possibly be close in quality to the original. Not like this. The series begun with a thriller; and has now descended into horror movie madness. These films are not scary; they're not even disturbing. They're just dumb and imaginative. The trouble with the fifth film is that it's even worse than all the other prior installments; and in so many ways too. For once, even the "Saw" theme is getting on my nerves due to the consistent repetition. Also, may I add that the traps are getting more boring as time goes on? Yes, that's what's happening alright. "Saw V' lacks the interesting visuals, the consistent and honest thrills, and finally the heart of the original "Saw". The only other thing it's lacking is the intentions and watchable qualities of the other three sequels. When all potential soul is absorbed from such a corpse-filled flick, it's just lifeless. Much like the corpses that soon fill the rooms of Jigsaw's "games". I would gladly say that I enjoyed "Saw V", but that would be me lying. In actuality, I couldn't stand it. This is a poorly made film like no other torture porn film. All I can say is that I know (and believe me, I KNOW) that "Saw VI" is going to be better. Perhaps it won't be good, but I'm hoping that it improves on this despicable piece of junk. Just...avoid this movie.

I like a good horror/thriller as much as anyone does, but "Saw V" is disrespectful to my beliefs as a cinephile. It doesn't care whether you think it needs to exist or not. Regularly, I would admire that quality, but in this flick it just feels down-right obnoxious. Did anyone really WANT "Saw V" to happen? Did anyone actually WATCH it? Yeah, apparently. Why the hell would they continue this currently decaying annual gore-fest if they didn't make a pretty penny off of it? I assume that such potboilers as the "Saw" sequels exist for nothing than profit. They are not made out of skill or passion, which I find kind of insulting. Yes, good horror movies are hard to come by; but few are as bad as this one here. At least some are BEARABLE. At least some make an ATTEMPT to be good. "Saw V" doesn't try to be (or as the case may be, do) anything. It just sits there waiting for the other forgettable sequels to come and go. It makes me wonder how such unimaginative minds could have possibly ended the franchise, but I will just have to wait and see. So is "Saw V" worth your time, even if I'm speaking to a "Saw" fan? No, not even if you're a hardcore "Saw" fanboy. By all means, this is the first unwatchable installment in the franchise; and it's also the first "Saw" film to make my "worst of (insert year here)" list...if I had a list. But who needs lists when you know how good or bad a film is, right? There's no need to give "Saw V" any more of my time, and out of sympathy I tell you to ignore it. Movies like these don't need money or attention. The studios are the ones who need both, but why make us suffer? I'll never know why they don't want to end this series, but all you need to know is that they've finally gone too far. "Saw V" stinks to high heaven. And that's the end of it.