Review of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) by Daniel F — 23 Dec 2007

This movie is hilariously bad. It's cheap, the color quality changes at random intervals, the acting is atrocious, and Santa acts as if he has recently suffered a stroke. It's uproariously stupid. "The mysterious object on our radar screens has disappeared! Either it's disintigrated, or it's a Martian space ship that has the technology to block radar." Also, Santa Claus does not conquer the Martians. He doesn't evven resist. He comes quietly and then does their bidding. And when he tries to defeat the EVIL Martian, he does so by having the children throw toys and blow bubbles at him. And apparently the EVIL Martian was rendered incapacitated by the HAPPINESS.

See this movie with other people so you can mock it MST3K-style. That's how to derive entertainment from it. But don't try to enjoy it as an actual movie. You might die. You have been warned.