Review of Romance & Cigarettes (2005) by Tyler R — 12 Dec 2007

Every year, there are a few big cinema disasters. This seems to be when a movie is really hyped, has good people working on it, and/or is a multimillion dollar epic, and disastrously falls short. A recent example is Francis Ford Coppola's newest film, "Youth Without Youth," his first film in ten years that's also getting worse reviews than "Jack." You never know; some disasters turn out to be pretty good movies, like "Idiocracy" or "Masked and Anonymous." Other disasters have completely earned their reputation, like "Tideland." I recently caught two of these so-called disasters in the theaters, knowing their reputations but still curious, nonetheless. Here's what I found.

[b]Southland Tales [/b][i]Samuel Goldwyn [/i]November 14.

Talk about disasters. Richard Kelly is a guy who spun a potential disaster, "Donnie Darko" with it's tumultuous Sundance debut, into a cult classic phenomenon. This may be why he risked everything with "Southland Tales," probably one of the most ambitious films ever to be released independently. I wanted to really like it, to dig its kitschy cast and psychological/religious/political mumbo jumbo, but I just couldn't. "Inland Empire" probably strengthened Kelly's hypothesis that a three-hour nonsensical film could still be amazing, but he failed to consider a few things. 1.) He is not David Lynch, nor is he the latter-day David Lynch like a few of his die-hard fans would like him to be. Maybe his hopefully toned down horror pic "The Box" will turn the tables, but at the moment, he's a wannabe like Aronofsky. 2.) The enjoyment factor of "Inland Empire" did not hinge upon understanding the film. Those entering "Inland Empire" know damn well it won't make sense, and Lynch knows this about his audience, and threads them along through varying degrees of funny/creepy. In the end, it's a satisfying, dreamlike experience. "Southland Tales" is just way too complicated. There are five thousand plots going on at once. If you haven't gotten it in the first half-hour, by the two-and-a-half-hour mark, you may as well be in Paraguay. Because the film is continually asking you to follow its every whim, the length is downright unbearable. Making things worse is the Justin Timberlake voice-over reading passages from the Bible (Note to Richard Kelly: after I hear the word "Revelations" for the fifth time, I stop paying attention.) Not that the film is complete shit. The curiosity factor kept me going, and the cinematography has some really great moments. The first scene with Jon Lovitz as the brute cop (a stroke of genius) is one of the best in the film. But, after awhile, I just stopped caring. Richard Kelly still has a lot of potential; if he could just make a movie that matches his ambitions for the movie. [b]C-[/b].

[b]Romance & Cigarettes [/b][i]Borotoro [/i]September 7.

I'm not sure when "Romance & Cigarettes" gained its disastrous reputation. Its release being delayed for two years was due to legal issues, though I'd imagine some minor company could have jumped on this potential money-maker. Nevertheless, kudos to John Turturro for releasing it himself and finding some box office success (it has currently made more money than "Southland," which has Sony connections). On to the review: There seem to be two parts to "Romance & Cigarettes," the romance and the cigarettes. Right off the bat, the cigarettes part (the last half hour of the movie) is complete shit. It's unnecessary, there are next to no musical numbers, and the film, at this point, is already overstaying its welcome. That's a major concern of this film: had the last half hour been lopped off, it could have been pretty good. Turturro's film is very close to a Coen Brothers film (they executive produced), in cast and visual style, but not at all in writing. "Romance & Cigarettes" can be downright incomprehensible. Once it's sunk in that Mary-Louise Parker (late thirties) and Aida Turturro (forties) are playing the daughters of Susan Sarandon (early fifties?), you begin to notice the shoddiness of the editing. Characters like Christopher Walken's disappear (isn't he Sarandon's ex-husband and, therefore, significant? If not, who the hell is he?), the movie starts off with a completely irrelevant scene and narration sequence; for a brief time, shots of a moving train and plane are used as transitions, even though no one seems to be travelling. Am I missing something, here? There are good parts of "Romance & Cigarettes," like everytime Walken, Steve Buscemi, and Kumar Pallana are onscreen; the final musical sequence with Kate Winslet is beautiful. But the parts of the movie that make sense are never really as satisfying as something the Coens could have made in a week. And what the fuck is up with the black licorice?? [b]C-[/b].

I don't know about you, but I think I'll pass on "Youth Without Youth.".