Review of Only the Strong (1993) by Sylvia L — 12 Apr 2010

This movie follows the "new teacher helps the underprivileged inner-city kids" movie plot you've seen 100 times. The difference? This movie is all about capoeira, a Brazilian martial arts style that involves moving, kicking, punching, and flipping to the beat. Sound silly? You're right.

In this movie our protagonist is Louis Stevens, played by Mark Dacascos, whom you know from Iron Chef America. I literally laughed for a solid minute when I realized that not only does he try to get away with playing a Japanese man on TV (He's from Hawaii), but he only knows basic capoeira. Which means that they taught him just enough to do this movie in which he is supposed to convince all of us that he is a capoeira mestre. Anyway, Louis gets shipped back stateside after his tour of duty in South America and the first thing he does is go back to his old high school. He discovers that it has been overrun by unruly children and frightened teachers. Sound familiar? So he is about to walk away when a fight breaks out right in front of him. He quickly breaks it up and finishes it mestre style. This leaves everyone at the school so impressed that they throw a teaching job in his face, obviously. He was ancient history 5 minutes ago, so he must be our savior now right? Not everyone is convinced but they are quickly swayed by the only good looking member of the cast who just so happens to be Louis's old heart throb. So there we are. The give him the keys to a busted down firehouse and throw the 12 worst kids in school his way. Of course he has them actually working together and listening to him within a matter of days. That's when his student Orlando says screw you mister and bails on class. Being an idiot, teachy goes into a basketball court full of thugs and asks him why he skipped class. He doesn't get an answer but instead gets a face full of foot from Orlando's gangster cousin who also happens to be a capoeira mestre. The rest of the movie is a struggle between good and evil. A struggle between two capoeira mestres locked in the heat of sweaty, rock abs McPeckerson tough guy fighting antics.

Why should you watch this movie? You shouldn't. It's a very predicable movie. You know right from the first time the villain is introduced that he is going to go down somehow. Plus, Louis isn't exactly a good example for kids. According to his methods it's ok to ...

1. Let kids fight each other in class.

2. Solve your problems with potato sacks full of violence.

3. Ignore everyone else and go it alone whenever you feel like it.

4. Take revenge when it's yours to take.

5. Destroy property.

6. Goad the toughest people in town.

7. Return confiscated weapons to kids.

8. Play favorites.

9. Walk away from your problems.

10. Seduce women by threatening to make then walk through a thunderstorm to get home.

This movie was made to teach us that there is another way to reach the lost youth of America. Duh, that's easy. Incentive!