Review of Murder on the Orient Express (2017) by Andi M — 10 Dec 2017
Agatha Christie's revered classic gets a snowy CGI facelift in this hyper-stylised stinker.
Director-cum-hipster-Poirot, Kenneth Branagh, leads an all-star cast all-aboard the titular train. A murder occurs, mumbo jumbo ensues and a series of seemingly unrelated vignettes enable each star to drop a couple of bad one-liners before Branagh reveals who's the baddy.
Fortunately, along the this long journey to nowhere, there's plenty of eye-popping distractions to help the heavy-nonsense narrative fade into the background. These include: a CGI Jerusalem, a CGI Istanbul, a CGI train and a non-CGI (but equally false-looking) moustache. And a woman whose face appears to be made from marzipan.
At the centre of this BRIGHT WHITE disasterpiece, however, lies one great mystery: who the fuck is the audience is supposed to be?
This review of Murder on the Orient Express (2017) was written by Andi M on 10 Dec 2017.
Murder on the Orient Express has generally received mixed reviews.
Was this review helpful?
