Review of Midsommar (2019) by Kelisi — 30 Jan 2021

Bad movie. Very bad.

My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. I like the whole indigenous society culty thing but it left no purpose, like what did I just watch. It just left me with so many questions. Who tf was Dani's sister(elaborate pls??), why are all the outsiders such dumba**es except Simon and Connie?? Like how, after witnessing how these people view death, how could you possibly think staying there is a good idea. bUt ThEy SeEm So nIcE. Yeah, they also seemed positively lovely when they bludgeoned people to death, skinned your friends, burned them alive, roofied and raped them. And can I just say Josh is literally so. so. so. dumb, like how does he think this "sacred library" would just be unguarded while the elders knew there were outsiders with a phone there. plus he took those pictures with flash on. nice. And can I just talk about our protagonist here. She is one of the most stupid people I have seen in a horror movie. Her absolute inability to comprehend that these people lOvE death is sending me. Oh, they like flower crowns and twirling around and dancing to some nice indigenous music? Nice, let me join, oh yeah, they kind of bludgeoned two people to death yesterday and two of my new acquaintances just disappeared, which I felt totally odd about but decided to ignore, because I have totally learned after my family's death I need to start trusting my senses more, but all that is besides the point right I mean they drink trippy flower tea and wear pretty dresses. There and the end. I would've given this a one star if not for me learning that Jack Reynor insisted on that full-frontal scene because he felt like girls in horror movies always get slut-shamed while being naked before their death, and for equality's sake he did that, he really did that. Wow, praise. The best part of the movie imo. But not his actual schlong, the narrative behind it.