Review of Machete (2010) by Michael V — 09 Nov 2011

I never really expected a cast like this to ever be put together. Robert De Niro in a movie with Steven Seagal or Lindsey Lohan. Very interesting indeed. By definition, and exploitation film will include excessive violence, gore, nudity, and be high on intentional corny lines while low on plot devices and character development.

And do we get that. Oh fuck yeah we do. Intestines used as rope, meat thermometer used as a weapon, low-rider with hydro used to crush a guy. Yep. I'm satisfied. Machete delivers on all accounts of action, gore, nudity, and corny lines.

The plot is simple, but honestly, that's how it should be. The thing that sets this apart from other exploitation films is that the acting is top notch. I have to say the character that stood out most to me was Shea Whigham.

Guy really is an untapped talent. And Michelle Rodriguez never looked hotter. And I'm pissed to be tricked into seeing Jessica Alba not naked. Nope sorry guys. She was dressed while shooting the shower scene and clothes were digitally removed.

My only real issue is the actual subject matter. Immigration. I'm not here to stand on soap box and give my opinion on the issue. I just think that a soap box shouldn't exist in an exploitation film.

This is not a political or social set piece. That belongs in movies like Crossing Over or Crash. I'm watching this for blood and tits. And maybe a cell phone up a snatch.