Review of I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (2006) by Jordan L — 17 Oct 2009

A few years back, a movie executive fell off a rollercoaster and bashed his head in, causing incredible brain damage. Though he now suffers from mental retardation, he continued on with his work and one of his first accomplishments post-accident was approving a 3rd I Know What You Did Last Summer movie.

In I'll ALWAYS Know What You Did Last Summer, a group of friends concoct a prank that involves the mythical Fisherman villain to run through a carnival, chasing and trying to kill our leads. As luck would have it though, one actually dies, so the pranksters bury the secret until a year later where they all (save for one) do a horrid job of trying to act as though you've spent the last year keeping a tragic secret.

Nope, most of them are acting just the same as they were prior to the tragic prank (this standard of acting actually makes the original actors in the first film seem Shakespearean). Big Surprise (!!!), a villainous Fisherman starts cutting up folks, but who could it be? The dead boy's Sheriff uncle, his deputy, dead boy's sexy cousin? Nope, it is truly the last person you would expect (and no, it's not good at all).

In fact, this whole movie is a bit corny and off putting. A long ways away from the high-quality first two terrible films, the 3rd entry is a standard low-budget and VERY pointless sequel that bores rather than entertains.

I'll give credit to young director Sylvain White, who does a good job of stretching the budget and making it look relatively good (and probably had fun making a bunch of white honkies die). As a result, White has certainly paid his dues and now directs bigger turds like Stomp the Yard (though I think his next film, The Losers, has the potential to be good).

As far as any standout actors, they're all terrible, minus the stunt work of Don Shanks who does Fisherman stunts and has experience playing scary characters (he was Michael Myers in part 5). I'll be generous and give it 2 stars.