Review of Horsemen (2009) by Steve E — 09 Aug 2009

Horsemen is another one of Hollywood's unfortunate ones. Horsemen has a very intriguing and engaging plot,but it gets ruined in the multitudes of bad that encompass it. Horsemen is the story of an investigator that specializes in dental work (played by a well-acted but unconvincing Dennis Quaid) who is consistently becoming more engrossed in his work and unintentionally distances himself from his kids (his wife died of cancer,just a fun fact thrown into the movie). There is a string of murders committed that have bizarre circumstances and leave very few trails or connections. But there is a connection left on purpose-it all relates to the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. Yep. It's an original plot for once,but there are so many things wrong with this movie: the dialogue is,frankly,atrocious; the acting is wooden to go along with it. And the movie is needlessly violent. Excessive violence is used to further the point (whatever it is),but do we really need to see innocent little William Miller from Almost Famous take a powered saw into his own chest while his brother is being forced to watch hanging from meat hooks? No. The answer is no. The conclusion is jumbled and undenialbly disappointing,though oddly very well-acted.

Horsemen can never decide whether it is horror,thriller,Saw 7 or just a plain drama,as it switches from one to the next frequently. And,there are a few moments of attempted humor-that blatantly fail.

All in all,Horsemen is a jumbled mess of a film. An interesting plot ruined by about everything that can go wrong with a movie outside of a boom mic in the shot. Quaid isn't bad as the lead character,but this isn't the right vehicle for him. Patrick Fugit is fantastic as a troubled homosexual teen with no support,but his character lasts only two scenes as he,as I said,brutalizes himself with a saw. It's an unconvential movie,but not worth the time or effort. I guess I should have seen this coming when I read Michael Bay was the main producer.