Review of Haywire (2011) by Andy S — 10 Nov 2012

This is a film that Iâ(TM)ve heard very mixed reviews about. My buddy Mark really didnâ(TM)t like it⦠this has the advantage of him not giving away a lot of spoilers; as heâ(TM)s prone to do when he does like something. With us having differing tastes when it comes to movies on occasion I decided to give it the once over and decide for myself. Well, I have to say that to some extent Mark was right; itâ(TM)s certainly not a great film. Iâ(TM)ll tell you why after this very brief summary.

We begin in a diner where Mallory Kane has stopped while fleeing from exactly what we donâ(TM)t yet know. Aaron arrives and tries to take her with him. She resists, thereâ(TM)s a fight and she escapes with one of the customers, a young man called Scott. She begins to talk about events and people that have brought her to this point and we go into flashback mode. The upshot of which is that she is a freelance covert operative has been set up and attempts have been made on her life⦠Itâ(TM)s time for payback and it will be brutal!... I guess that sums it up really.

Itâ(TM)s a film that in the beginning seems extremely incoherent and thatâ(TM)s no mistake⦠it is! The disjointed musical score by David Holmes doesnâ(TM)t help one bit either. As far as performances go, well Gina Carano did a reasonable job as Mallory Kane; I know she did most of her own stunt work which is quite impressive, but her acting skills may still need a little work. We then have the likes of Channing Tatum as Aaron, Michael Douglas as Alex Coblenz, Antonio Banderas as Rodrigo, Ewan McGregor as Kenneth, Michael Fassbender as Paul, Bill Paxton as John Kane and Michael Angarano as Scott who all played their parts well, but over all, for me, it didnâ(TM)t quite work.

I have come across several of these films with a decent cast but I well know that this is no guarantee of a decent film. Yes, the fight scenes are pretty spectacular, but no more so than those in the â~Bourneâ(TM) films. I found the plot far too complex and this wasnâ(TM)t helped by the characterisations which I found it very hard to engage with. It does all tie up quite neatly in the end, but it touches every single base on the way there. The film is only an hour and a half long and it seemed a lot longer than that by the time the final credits rolled⦠This is not a good sign Iâ(TM)m afraid and so this one does not get my seal of approval.

SteelMonsterâ(TM)s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED.

My score: 4.3/10.