Review of Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls (2008) by Aj D — 05 Apr 2009
It's a cliche to say this about bad movies, but what the fuck -- I just wasted an hour-and-a-half of my life on this dreck that I will never get back. This may be the ONE time that I will support those who accuse The Asylum of pulling a bait-and-switch with their mockbusters.
This one was marketed on the back of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" and explicitly references Allan Quatermain (from King Solomon's Mines and some cheesy 80s Indiana Jones rip-offs), so you'd think that you'd get something like those films right? Wrong -- it was like a cheesy National Geographic/Discovery Channel documentary on the South African veldt (complete with a few minutes of topless dancing native women) with some British "actors" shooting off popguns at each other and muttering incomprehensibly and a bunch of Zulus who apparently just wandered on the set because they had nothing better to do that day.
Even B-studios like The Asylum have some standards (which make their cheesy films entertaining), but this one doesn't even live up to those.
This review of Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls (2008) was written by Aj D on 05 Apr 2009.
Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls has generally received very negative reviews.
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