Review of Ghoulies (1985) by Andy C — 05 May 2015

Fairly awful. The titular Ghollies make no actual impact on the film save for killing off a group of party guests (that somehow get better for the film's conclusion).

For the most part it's about some fellow getting sucked into the world of black magic after inheriting a house from his asshole evil cultist dad...doing black magic turns you into a right glowy eyed prick, has you summon odd gremlin cash in puppets to do your bidding along with goblin people played by little actors to do bidding too complex for fairly naff puppets to pull off. Makes you hypnotise / magic your girlfriend to stop her leaving you and then kill off most of your 80s mates at a dinner party. Finally culminating in zombie dad coming back from the dead to kill you.

Luckily if your janitor is some kind of wizard, that neglected to intervene earlier to steer you away from the dark path, bit decides to involve himself at the last minute to save the day you can be sure that you too will come out ok in the end, should your life ever begin to mirror this film.