Review of Future War (1997) by Justin W — 11 Feb 2009

They just don't make bad movies like this anymore. That's a shame. This movie is such a piece of shit, it defies logic to think that the filmmakers were going for anything but. What is amazing is that the depths of crappiness this movie traverses makes it one of the most brilliant cinematic pieces I've ever had the pleasure of watching.

Daniel Bernhardt in a career-defining role along the lines of Marlon Brando in the Godfather or Pacino in Scarface give it his all here: as a kickboxing runaway slave being chased by tubby "cyborg" bounty hunters in tinfoil suits (played by the guy who played Maniac Cop), and running away from cheesy dinosaur puppets, aided by a prostitute turned nun-in-training.

This is the movie Termninator wished it could be in sheer entertainment value. In fact, I dare you to find a film more purely hypnotizing in its stupidity than this: the list is few and far between- I'd take this over Pulp Fiction or Apocalypse Now any day.

A cinematic masterpiece that should be in the top 10 of any bad movie fiend.