Review of Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed (2005) by Tom R — 30 Jan 2012
(1 Star) To answer your first question: yes, I watched this movie simply because of its title, but you find out the title makes no sense. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair to review a movie with an obviously very low budget and production values worse than used car dealership commercials, but this movie tries to take itself so seriously.
The movie's sound is beyond awful... not the just soundtrack, the SOUND. You can tell they tinkered with the levels in post production because they recorded some scenes too high. The music is simplistic and I think they just repeated two melodies over and over.
.. the best way to describe it is DVD menu music. There's zero creativity in the directing, editing, and cinematography. There are brutally unfunny comedic moments where comedy with drama are mixed in an attempt to resemble a Tyler Perry movie.
The worst character was a 70 year old wise-talkin' grandpa, who I swear was just a 30-year old dude in a bad wig. I can't say much about the acting or dialog because this movie clearly didn't have any real actors or a screenwriter who cares about the craft.
I give it 1 star because zero or 1/2 stars are for truly detestable movies, and picking on what's wrong with Don't Touch if You Ain't Prayed is too easy and darkly entertaining.
This review of Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed (2005) was written by Tom R on 30 Jan 2012.
Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed has generally received negative reviews.
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