Review of Cockneys vs Zombies (2012) by Tom F — 19 Nov 2012

The beauty of a film like this is the fact that you know what you're going to get straight from the get-go. The title of the film fills you in instantly, no need for a synopsis, no need for back story, all you need to know is that there is going to be conflict between the undead and the stubborn, hard-as-nails cockneys from East London, sunshine!

Cockneys vs. Zombies is making its rounds in film festivals throughout the country. It checks all the boxes; old-aged codgers mowing down the undead (including a former bond girl, Honor Blackman, still going strong in her late eighties!) - Check. Annoying businessmen characters being horrifically torn to shreds - check. Gore and guts galore - check. F-bombs and cockney rhyming slang - check, check and check! This film certainly has it all. Many people have quickly declared the film a mish-mash of Shaun of the Dead and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels but there's nothing bad about that in any way, there's plenty of fun to be had here, you'll be smiling gleefully all the way through.

Cockneys vs. Zombies follows a group of cockneys attempting to rob a bank in order to try to keep their grandfather's old nursing home open. As the robbery goes down an outbreak turns the dead into infectious blood crazed monsters bringing destruction upon the streets of London, and it's up to our gang of cockneys and old-aged pensioner cockneys to make these zombies brown-bread!

The film hosts plenty of zany characters, some we actually care for, and some we relish seeing get ripped to shreds. The person who steals the show for me is the criminally insane Mental Mickey (played by Ashley Thomas) who has a metal plate in his head which he supposedly obtained through service in Iraq; he goes in all guns blazing and is delightful to watch. The old aged pensioners played by Alan Ford, Richard Briers and Honor Blackman all do great as well. A scene springing to mind which I thoroughly enjoyed, involved Briers slowly escaping using his zimmer frame from an ensuing zombie. If you're a gun-nut you're going to be in for a treat too. The 88 minute run-time is a breeze, everything is paced nicely and there's never a dull moment, quite surprising for a concept which you'd think wouldn't be able to withstand the length of a film.

Cockneys vs. Zombies is by no means a masterpiece, but it's well made with fun performances and some great action scenes. Thoroughly entertaining!