Review of Cobra (1986) by Jonas B — 20 Jan 2009

What this film lacks in, y'know, actual quality it makes up for in sheer 80's action-ness. We have Sly, aviators permanently glued to his face wasting hundreds of goons and letting rip classic dialogue ("I'll blow this whole place up!", "Go ahead.

I don't shop here.") in order to protect witness Brigitte Nielsen, who's actually quite attractive when she's not rocking a peroxide flat-top. Out to get her is Brian Thompson (or Shao Kahn from Mortal Kombat: Annihilation as I saw him), playing the quintessential 80's action movie villain - all furious mugging, scenery-chewing and over-the-top eeevil-ness.

The plot doesn't make much sense, the acting is so-so and the whole thing is probably cobbled together from ideas stolen from other movies (Thompson's Night Slasher - yes that was his name - seemed a little Terminator-inspired to me, which is interesting since Thompson played one of the punks whom Arnie kills at the start of that movie) but Sly and Thompson are great, the dialogue is cracking and the action a blast.

I think I over-use the phrase "essential 80's" but I'm afraid I'm going to have to wheel it out again here.