Review of Cobra (1986) by Lewis H — 07 Aug 2016

I've always viewed this film for better or for worse as the epitome of 80s action films. It's so on the nose in terms of all the 80s action film cliches that the film can easily be viewed as an ironic parody. However, and I'm not quite sure why, but I really do love this film and consider it something of a guilty pleasure. I felt a little vindicated in my love of "Cobra" when I read on IMDB that Nicolas Winding Refn, the director of "Drive," is a huge fan of the film. Sylvester Stallone plays Lieutenant Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti, who's part of the Zombie Squad, who are called in for those really bad cases. This time it's a series of killings by The Night Slasher, which ends up being a cult of killers who want to bring about some ill defined new order. They profess their beliefs by clanging together axes in silhouette in an abandoned foundry. That's about the extent of their motivation. Most of the film's action involves Stallone protecting a witness, who happens to be a model played by Brigitte Nielsen. The action is exciting and nicely 80s flashy. There are loads of memorable silly one liners, such as:

"You're the disease, and I'm the cure.".

Or.

"Get back! I got a bomb here! I'll blow this whole place up!".

"Go ahead. I don't shop here.".

Or.

"It's bad for your health, you know?".

Punk smoking cigarette: "What is, pinche?".

"Me.".

And I could go on. Sly wrote the screenplay based on a novel that was later filmed as the Cindy Crawford/Billy Baldwin vehicle "Fair Game." This is obviously the better of the two. It was directed by George P. Cosmatos, although some reports are that Stallone was really the director on the film. The same claim was also reported for the excellent western "Tombstone," that Cosmatos was more of an on-set producer and that star Kurt Russell was the film's real director. Cosmatos was also the credited director of "Rambo: First Blood Part II" so he has some pretty excellent muscular action flicks to his credits, but those are really his only films that I would say are really anything of note, which does make me think there may be some credence to the claims that he was merely on set to keep things running smoothly while Sly or Kurt shot their pictures. In any case, his name will probably be remembered for being part of these iconic films. There are some good supporting players in this film that include Art LaFleur (you'd totally recognize him if you don't know the name) and also Andrew Robinson, which I think was funny to cast him as the uptight police bureaucrat on Cobretti's case when his most famous role was as Scorpio, the crazed killer in "Dirty Harry." You also get o see David "Sledge Hammer!" Rasche as a fashion photographer, but most memorable of the supporting cast is Brian Thompson as the lead baddie from the cult, who has a big scary knife and looks perpetually sweaty. My favorite part of his performance are the close ups of his mouth when he spouts "PIG" with loads to saliva. I'll admit there are lot of plot holes and the pacing seems off at time, although I think both of those are a result of the film originally being Rated-X and had to be cut to get an R-rating. Overall, this is a film that I know isn't exactly "The French Connection," but it's a film that's always stuck in my memory, has a lot of funny one liners, many slick visuals, and is a film that I fell like I should be enjoying it ironically, but one that I always end up just straight up enjoying as quintessential 80s action.