Review of Chariots of Fire (1981) by Movie M — 15 Nov 2012

You will probably be a bit thrown off by this claim, but I enjoyed this film about as much as I enjoy running myself. And let me tell you, with my skinny legs peddling underneath me, I REALLY don't like running. . . For the most part, this dry piece of sports history from the United Kingdom is simply a depiction of when two of the more famous British runners (Harold Abrahams played by Ben Cross and Eric Liddel played by Ian Charleson) competed in the 1924 Olympics. I get that it is supposed to be uplifting and well-spirited just as it is a dedicated telling to an important moment in Olympics/Great Britain's history. For me though it was a long two hour marathon cut into two "legs". One part majorly composed of a lot of "chip chip cherio" dialogue between vague characters I couldn't invest in, and the other part an excess of men running in slow motion with the most awkward vinegar stroke faces there ever was to cross a finish line. And after all was said and done while waiting for some piece of climactic resolution, a gun pop and a short sprint with some cheering afterwards left me thinking "that was it???". . . It may have been a weak year at the Oscars, but surely other contenders and winners of the other categories such as "On Golden Pond", "Raiders of the Lost Ark", and "Reds" should have had the stamina to take this cheeky little bugger of a flick out. I personally contend it should have been a nominee for the Best Foreign Film prize, though if we're playing with hypotheticals, the category's winner in "Mephisto" was still by far the better choice. I don't mean to completely rag on a shocking fan-favorite like this film, but it has actually led to me making up a new bad joke in its dishonor. . .

Why did Forrest Gump walk across the road???

Because he just got done with Chariots of Fire and was too bored to run. . .

Film Grade: C-.