Review of Cell (2016) by Kyle L — 16 Jul 2018

Poorly shot, indifferently staged, badly written and lacking of coherent scares or respect to its novel counterpart. Cell is one of the worst Stephen King adaptations to date and also acts as a true example on how you should not adapt a book that is written so well but poorly translated for the big screen.

The story follows comic book artist Clay who is on his way to meet up with his son after landing a successful deal with his publishers on the latest graphic novel series he's working on. However, terror strikes when people start turning into mindless zombies by answering their cellphones, along the way he meets up with Tom McCourt, Alice Maxwell and computer genius Jordan.

Together, they travel across the desolated US as the human population slowly decreases while also unraveling the mysteries of the pulse that turns everyone into zombies. Compared to the newly successful Stephen King adaptations in 2017 like the terrifying IT, Gerald's Game and 1922.

Cell is the adaptation that alienated Stephen King fanatics and is a plague in the history of Hollywood movies. This is the film that is doomed from beginning to end and I'm not kidding about that; I read the book it was based on and from the moment the film flows after a decent opening sequence, Cell starts to go downhill as it suffers from a number of setbacks that are inferior to the books powerful moments.

The problem with this adaptation is that the new elements incorporated into the film lacks the greatness of the book and adds more plot holes and unanswered questions. Its clear that things went South real fast during the middle of the film as the lack of character development is purely absent by the time the film abruptly ends.

The directing is awkward, shoddy and bland that sets new directions in the history of bad film making, nearly every element used are just recycled junk from past movies. The way the film was shot is so bad it made my eyes hurt (Rapid use of cuts, excessive zooming scenes, laughable zombie sound effects and lazy camera work as if it was shot on a plastered handheld video camera filled with poor lighting that makes you think the budget for the film has been reduced for the next half of the film) and finally, the changes from the book is purely absurd that wasted the efforts of everyone involved during pre-production on the film plus the zombies are just as lame as the movie itself.

The only two positive things about this film are a few nicely shot scenes during the apocalypse at the airport (one where Clay sees people acting odd after answering their cellphones including a violent death during the subway sequence) and the casting of the film is good from John Cusack, Samuel L.

Jackson, Isabelle Fuhrman too Owen Teague as Clay Riddell, Tom McCourt, Alice Maxwell and Jordan respectively but these four deserve to be in better movies than in this film for good reason. Director Tod Williams is one of the worst Horror directors of all time as he shows how much of a huge hack he is in the genre when he made both Paranormal Activity 2 and this film.

His work in the first Paranormal Activity sequel is ok but slightly better than what he did here as he butchered Stephen King's incredible story into a crumbling magnitude that sinks faster than a quicksand and shows that these type of films should be handed to those who admire the work of Horror Maestro Stephen King.

Cell overall is one of the worst adaptations of a Stephen King novel that is easily forgettable and leaves a bad taste in your mouth. This is one of the worst zombie films of all time. I am giving this movie a 2/10.