Review of Calvaire (2005) by Jason J — 04 Oct 2009

This French horror movie is unlike any of the ones that preceded it recently. It doesn't have hardly any blood or gore, and tries to be a cross between "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Deliverance".

A travelling singer is driving from one show to another, when his car breaks down close to a lodge in the middle of nowhere. At first the lodgekeeper seems ok and offers to help repair his car, while the singer stays at his lodge.

He is warned not to go into town, but it doesn't make any difference if he stays there or goes into town, he is in for a very very bad time. To be honest, everybody besides the singer is absolutely crazy, and when he comes across a group of the locals screwing a pig, yep, screwing a pig, as the camera leaves the scene you can hear a loud squeal slowly fainting out.

Now everybody knows these backwoods psychos screw their pigs, but then when the singer gets reamed, it takes on a whole different disgusting and depraved, and most certainly disturbing tone. This movie is also known for its dance scene that resembles a dance of the zombies, although these people are not zombies.

Different viewers will read a lot of different things in this morbid film, and if nothing else, it deserves the title "a very demented French thriller". My own view, is it does what it intends to do, and that's shock the audience, with some unbelievably bizarre scenes.

The whole premise, that these oddballs believe this singer is actually some woman that comes back from wherever is nothing but surreal. I kinda liked it, it's unlike anything I've scene for a long time, but beware.

........... You'll never look at a porkchop or bacon the same again after seeing "Calvaire".