Review of Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010) by Robert B — 27 Sep 2015

Beyond the Black Piece of Sh*t.

Do not watch this film.

The first 5 minutes are Amazing! And then nothing happens for about 2 hours. This movie is obnoxiously slow. Intentional? Surely, but who cares, if it sucks. And that's the point here.

This exercise in style over substance suffers from arrogance, lack of thought, lack of content, lack of motivation, intent, perspective and direction. Don't get me wrong, other than the fact that EVERY SINGLE SHOT is too grainy to bare, and that they clearly messed up when it came to lighting, this film is beautiful, and kind of cool to look at. And if that's all that mattered in a movie, then perhaps the director would've had something here. Maybe if they would've just played some entertaining trance music to keep us busy while we watch a comatose girl meandering around an all white room for 2 hours, they could've passed it off as subversive, but this has nothing. It's a short film that was stretched to feature, lord knows why, a budget that would've been better spent on euthanizing the investors and all their descendants. As a film enthusiast I'm angry, as a film maker, I'm livid, as a Canadian and a human being, I'm ashamed. Ashamed artists and craftsmen were duped in taking part in this.

The Good: Every shot is pretty cool. Like a poster. Every single frame is the definition of 70's sci-fi horror. It feels like a nostalgic good time... from afar...

The Bad: Everything. Everything that isn't the intro or the performances. So I guess everything that happens. And I don't just mean plot here. I mean blocking, movement, everything that effects anything in this film is lame. It wasn't meant to be actively watched. It was meant to play in the background as electronic music plays during a masked Caligula-Kubrick orgy, on heavy psychedelics. Anything else will simply not do...