Review of Baby Boom (1987) by Oaks B — 14 Feb 2009

Diane Keaton's character is unlikeable from the bat - a selfish, money-hungry, shoulder-padded '80s corporate workaholic - and the ridiculous plot serves as an excuse for unending "cute" close-ups of the baby and unfunny sketches of Keaton's character fumbling around with said cute baby.

Do people REALLY, EVER just "inherit" international babies that get dropped off to them in a rush at an airport with apparently no legal hoops to jump through? No! Do YOU really think a supposed Yale and Harvard alum wouldn't be able to figure out how to put a diaper on a baby? Gimme a break! Keaton popping valiums to psyche herself up enough to stick a thermometer in a baby's ass? And then showing it? Gross! Cute close-ups of the baby, remote control in hand, laughing at "I Love Lucy"? Kill me now.

Possibly, just possibly, Baby Boom has the most dated and annoying '80s synth/slap-bass soundtrack ever recorded for a film, and I would not say that lightly - when '80s videos are mocked THIS is the cheeseball music they are mocking.

Maybe at the time the music really said..."strong '80s businesswoman, on the go!" Now, it says something more like "C-grade Betamax exercise tape." I'm sure as the film progresses she learns all sorts of meaningful lessons about motherly responsibility and grows a heart and learns to love and other predictable cliched moralistic diarrhea, but I couldn't get past the scene where I have to watch a thermometer actually being shoved up a baby's ass.

Barf!