Review of Anacondas: Trail of Blood (2009) by Jordon J — 15 Jun 2009

The fourth (and hopefully final) Anaconda film is a follow up to the 3rd entry (both were shot back-to-back) and features the returning Hot Blonde Scientist with Tight Clothes (aka Crystal Allen) who roams the forests of some European country in search for a doctor's laboratory of Blood Orchids.

Little does she know, there's also a group of archeologists (one of which is Johnny Cage himself, Linden Ashby), a young student, dangerous hitmen, and a giant cartoon Anaconda all roaming the forest as well and killing each other silly.

Lots of fake snake action, lots of mindless gore (gore is great, but when it's done sloppy, it's not great at all). John Rhys-Davies returns as the billionaire who's trying to get the serum in order to live longer.

Glad to see they give him more than a couple of minutes this time around (I think he doubled it to about 4!). The saddest part is the film lacking an appearance from the Hoff, who at least added a lot of unintentional humor to the last film.

Overall, dumb Sci-fi original film with awful action, awful gore, awful effects, awful actors, awful everything.