Review of American Outlaws (2001) by Christopher L — 07 Jul 2008

[i][b]American Outlaws[/b][/i] - The story of Jesse James by way of MTV = [i]American Outlaws[/i]. A terrible script, ridiculous dialogue and lame "partial nudity" have never been so yawn-worthy. Farrell is an actor I like and appreciate, but this was an early bomb. [b]* (out of ****) D.

[i]Face/Off[/i][/b] - John Woo and I have gotten along twice - we got along just fine with his [i]Mission: Impossible II[/i], and with this highly imaginative and gloriously stylized action epic. Travolta and Cage literally play each other in a thrilling actioner with a premise so ludicrous it makes for some fanastically frenetic entertainment. [b]***1/2 (out of ****) A-.

[i]The Fast and the Furious[/i][/b] - I'm so sick of half-naked people spouting mean one-liners to one another in a cliched story that takes forveer to get where everyone in the audience knows it's going. Blech. [b]*1/2 (out of ****) D+.

[i]Super Mario Bros.[/i][/b] - Roland Joffe may have been responsible for the 1995 Demi Moore's boobs-fueled adaptation of Nathaniel Hawthorne's [i]The Scarlet Letter[/i] and the sadistic [i]Captivity[/i], but never have I been more disappointed with him as I was when I saw [i]Super Mario Bros.[/i] at the fresh young age of however old I was in 1993. What an absolute mess! Boring, ridiculous and unfunny. [b]1/2* (out of ****) D-.

[i]Texas Rangers[/i][/b] - Let's cast teenyboppers in a Western. Yay. You fail. [b]1/2* (out of ****) D-[/b].