Review of Zoolander 2 (2016) by Robbie T — 07 May 2016

"Zoolander 2 is a total disaster on the fashion runway, it's an early candidate for the worst film of 2016".

Movie Review: Zoolander 2.

Date Viewed: February 13 2016.

Directed By Ben Stiller (The Cable Guy, Tropic Thunder, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and Zoolander).

Written By John Hamburg, Ben Stiller, Justin Theroux and Nicholas Stoller, Based on characters created by Drake Sather and Ben Stiller.

Starring: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Penelope Cruz, Will Ferrell, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen,.

Christine Taylor, Cyrus Arnold, Justin Bieber, Kyle Mooney, Sting, Milla Jovovich, Justin Theroux, Beck Bennett, Nathan Lee Graham and Benedict Cumberbatch.

"You guys are the absolute worst!" Will Ferrell's Mugatu character splendidly shouts.

Did we all really need a sequel to "Zoolander"? I don't think a sequel was in the cards for me. "Zoolander No. 2" is anything but a No. 2, it is a totally needless sequel. If you're looking for a better alternative this Valentine's Day weekend, see "Deadpool" instead because I laughed a thousand times more than this movie. It was a fairly packed house at my screening but boy, it was dead silence in there. Okay, I heard three laughs from the audience but still, that counts as crickets. Instead of laughs, we get a whole bunch of celebrity cameos including one from Justin Bieber who gets brutally murdered in the movie's first three minutes.

Okay, Bieber who in recent years has been in all kinds of trouble and is trying to make up for his mischievous behavior gets gunned-down by motorcycle-riding thugs. So What? So what if you (Bieber) get shot multiple times by thugs, it's still not funny because we all know you're never going to get rid of your bad boy image. It's not funny or amazing to go: WOW EVERYBODY! It's Justin Bieber, Oh look there's Sting! Oh look there's Kiefer Sutherland who is a part of Hansel's (Owen Wilson) orgy group! Oh look there's MC Hammer and John Malkovich locked in an island prison! Oh look there's Benedict Cumberbatch as a bald transgender model named All! Oh look there's Marc Jacobs, Tommy Hilfiger and Anna Wintour together in an ritual orchestrated by Zoolander's arch nemesis Mugatu (Will Ferrell)!

With each big cameo, the movie grows more desperate and unfunny. Ben Stiller deserves all the blame here because in addition to reprising his role as the clueless male model, Stiller also served as a producer, a co-writer and the director of "Zoolander 2". While it's not "Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2" bad, this sequel is a total disaster on the fashion runway.

15 years after the original, Owen Wilson's Hansel retired from the modeling world after a horrific accident and Stiller's Zoolander has gone into exile in New Jersey. His wife, Matilda Jeffries (Christine Taylor, Stiller's wife) is no longer living and was forced to give up his son, Derek Jr. (Cyrus Arnold) to child services because he was a horrible father. However, he and Hansel are brought in by Fashion Interpol because many famous pop singers including Justin Bieber and Demi Levato have been assassinated with Zoolander's trademark "Blue Steel" look on their faces. Agent Valentina (Penelope Cruz) says Zoolander is the only one who can crack this case but he has put his modeling days behind him.

Eventually, he does agree to the mission and plus he has time to reconnect with his son who is now chubby and wants nothing to do with him. Meanwhile, Zoolander's arch nemesis Jacobim Mugatu (Ferrell) manages to escape from the island prison and is seeking revenge. The movie also stars a barely unrecognizable Kristen Wiig as a modeling giant who doesn't walk, has weirdly exquisite dresses and has horrible plastic surgery on her face.

As All (Cumberbatch) would say, "All is All" and that's all we get folks. "Zoolander 2" is another average/by-the-numbers sequel that doesn't even try to do something new and Ben Stiller is way better than this, he made "Tropic Thunder" which is one of my favorite comedies of all time. Not only did Stiller pen the script for "Zoolander 2", it also has writing credits for Nicholas Stoller (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Five-Year Engagement and Neighbors), John Hamburg (I Love You, Man) and Justin Theroux (who wrote "Tropic Thunder").

Yep, so much comedic talent was wasted here. Cruz has the thankless role here as the attractive Interpol agent while Stiller and Wilson are just phoning-it in. The original "Zoolander" if you recall was released two weeks after the 9/11 attacks. At the time, moviegoers weren't comfortable seeing a silly comedy that involved a plot to kill the Malaysian Prime Minister. However in the years since, it developed a cult following on home video and allowed Stiller to think about doing a sequel but 15 years is way too late.

Zoolander might be known for his "Blue Steel" and "Magnum" looks but I think he should have a different look, "Better Movie".

"Zoolander No. 2" is an early candidate for the worst film of 2016.