Review of Your Highness (2010) by Aaron M — 22 Feb 2012

This is one of those movies where you feel you've wasted valuable time in your life. You know, time you could have been sticking safety pins under your fingernails, or stubbing your toes, or even sitting in traffic with no A/C in some city close to the equator in the middle of summer. I can't believe this is the same team that brought us Eastbound & Down. They definitely can't handle period pieces. Natalie Portman? She must have lost a bet to be in this movie. Sometimes I wonder if Satan makes deals with people like Portman. Like, "Ok look Natalie. I'll let you win an Oscar for Black Swan, but you have to do something for me, Anything I want." She agrees but then has to make "Your Highness" as the devil laughs and laughs. I could tell Portman was in absolute pain when she had to say the line "Is that your cock?". She probably went straight to her trailer after and cried because that line was so stupid.

By the way, I am not a prude. I adore crude humor. Eastbound & Down is brilliant. Again, I want to stress, I cannot believe this is the same team.