Review of Whiteout (2009) by Matt R — 06 Jul 2010

Ugh, nearly 2 hours of my life I can't get back. Kate Beckinsale and Tom Skerritt deserve better. The movie had every poise and ability to make an amazing "whodunit" thriller. Trapped in Antarctica, freezing temperatures, the killer behind every bundled up person in the camp, seems like all the necessities are there. Oh, but here's the thing, you can pretty much guess who did it within the first 25 minutes of the movie. I have zero ability of detecting the culprit in "whodunit" movies, really, I don't. I was able to pick this one out before I finished my mini-popcorn bag. I finished through it because, hey, I've been wrong before. But this one is so obvious.

Aside from the ridiculously predictable plot, there were way too many holes to make it believable. First, now while I haven't been to Antarctica, I think I've seen enough snow and blizzard-like conditions to know what real snow looks like. The CGI snow in this movie was just silly looking. It could have possibly looked better had they just let a bag of cotton balls go in front of a fan at some points.

Also, how does it happen that you can frostbite your fingers within 5-10 seconds of touching a metal handle there, but meanwhile all you need is a hood and a "I'm cold" scowl and you're face is pretty much immune from the exposure?

The FBI guy was not believable in the slightest as well. He might as well as held a sign through the movie that said "I'm here to divert your attention from the main plot so you don't figure it out too easy. Otherwise, I'm just for show.".

In the end, really the only good thing I can say about this movie is that Tom Skerritt seems to be aging very well. Good for him.