Review of Where the Truth Lies (1999) by Jeff O — 25 May 2009

Sex! Drugs! Martin & Lewis ripoffs! More sex! Blatantly telegraphed plot twists! Kevin Bacon's ass!

Normally I don't care for "so-bad-it's-good" movies (see also: The Apple); they tend to be borderline painful to watch, and I'm not that masochistic. But unlike so many of those low-budget crapfests, "Where the Truth Lies" has all the trappings of a real Hollywood movie: it's a literary adaptation with a decent budget and name-brand stars. At times it comes across as a big-budget Skinemax flick. I gave it two stars - 1.5 out of enjoyment, and .5 out of sheer pity. Make no mistake, though; as enjoyable as I found it, it's still a terrible movie.

I found myself laughing quite a bit during the film, although at all the wrong parts. Firth and Bacon are passable as a Bizarro-world Martin & Lewis, but their story seems played out before the opening narration begins. They're big stars in the 50s who must be the luckiest guys in the world, but surprise! They drink, pop pills and sleep around with the best of them. Behind their smiles, they're deeply tortured souls. Oh, and they may have killed a girl. *gasp!* The murder is supposed to drive the action as it flops between the '50s and the '70s, but the whole thing is so ludicrous that it only serves as an albatross around the film's neck.

Alison Lohman is horribly miscast as a young, unproven reporter in the early '70s who somehow lands the big-money gig of interviewing Firth for the story of his life (and the alleged murder). My guess is that Lohman got the role because she was the only actress willing to suffer through a lesbian sex scene with a woman dressed as Alice in Wonderland. Seriously.

Along the way, there's copious voice-over work by Lohman, Bacon, Firth, and even the girl who plays Lohman's roommate. There are multiple "twists," including a reveal about Lohman's childhood that was so obvious that I didn't realize it was supposed to be a surprise, and the most cliched ending imaginable.

The plot holes are numerous, the dialog is often ludicrous, and the countless gratuitous sex scenes are laughable. This is a film that begs for the MST3K treatment, but would probably find a way to ruin even that. But isn't that why we watch bad movies? Because they're so much damn fun?