Review of Welcome to the Jungle (2007) by Tony S — 18 Nov 2007

[size=4]Anyone out there thinking of an alternative to Turkey for their Thanksgiving feast? Here's a pair of films that take that idea to a bit of an extreme.[/size].

[font=Times][size=4][color=#000000]1980 Spain/France/W. Germany Director: Jess Franco[/color][/size][/font].

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[font=Times][size=4][color=#000000]Score: 3[/color][/size][/font].

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[color=#000000][font=Times][size=4]This movie has the usual massive amounts of gore, nudity, and the senseless plot that most cannibal movies contain. Fortunately this one ignored the ?tradition? of the sub-genre of having a penis cut off. I do thank the film maker for that small gift. A better gift would have been to have cannibals that act in a consistent manner and that didn?t have trendy 80s hair cuts. By consistency I mean, one minute they are cursing ?the white invaders? and anyone with white skin, the next scene they are worshipping the ?white goddess.? One scene has them literally eating a victim alive on the spot, the next they are capturing victims instead. Their behavior was obviously dictated by the needs of the poorly written script rather than by any realistic logic. The gore effects are pretty average for their time. The music score is awful. The acting is unintentionally comical in many spots and just plane terrible in others. I?d pass on this one if I were you.[/size][/font][/color].

[font=Times New Roman][size=4][color=#000000]Notes: XV-GN Suggested Age: Adults Only[/color][/size][/font].

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[font=Times New Roman][font=Times][size=4][color=#000000]2007 US Director: Jonathan Hensleigh[/color][/size][/font].

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[font=Times][size=4][color=#000000]Score: 4[/color][/size][/font].

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[color=#000000][font=Times][size=4]It seems that the film maker was either hoping to catch the same lucky vibe that [i]The Blair Witch[/i] received or perhaps he was hoping people had forgotten that film and would consider this one original. It really doesn?t matter; the movie fails on both counts anyway. It bears more resemblance to the movie [i]Cannibal Holocaust[/i] in that it mostly watched through the recovered video footage. The actors who are tasked with trying to look like they are not acting don?t do so poorly at it. They are not amazing or anything close to that level as far as acting goes, but they are okay. The SFX are also done well enough, though not of any great level beyond average.[/size][/font][/color].

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[color=#000000][font=Times][size=4]The story itself is pretty badly conceived and put on film in the same way. We have four young people who by all accounts appear to be nothing more than useless lay abouts who are living in Fiji on ?family money? who suddenly get the urge to investigate rumors that Michael Rockefeller (heir to the Rockefeller family fortune who disappeared in 1961 in New Guinea) has been spotted living in the jungle among a remote and primitive tribe. There is no real reason at all why these ?surfer brats? would really give a crap about that, not to mention spend the time, effort, and money on an excursion to investigate it, but that is what we are supposed to believe.[/size][/font][/color].

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[color=#000000][font=Times][size=4]If that very shaky premise isn?t bad enough, we are then subjected to the fact that the rest of the movie is scene after scene of the two couples bickering with each other. One couple are booze hound losers who further drive home the fact that the whole trip is pretty unbelievable in that it is unlikely at least half the group would have even bothered to go. The ?cannibals? only show up in the last 20 minutes or so of the film and their arrival and actions don?t do much at all to pull this film out of the tail spin it is in by that time.[/size][/font][/color].

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[font=Times New Roman][size=4][color=#000000]Notes: XV-XL-BN-SA Suggested Age: 16+[/color][/size][/font][/font].