Review of Waterworld (1995) by Annie P — 12 May 2009

Mariner: Two drifters meet. Something needs to be exchanged.

Drifter: I know the code. But I'll give this one to you for free.

Mariner: Nothing's free in Waterworld.

Myself: uuuhhhh,,,.

It is no surprise that Kevin Costner could ruin a movie with a great concept.

What if the ice caps melted and the world was covered with water? Well besides the fact that there isn't even enough ice to melt and cover the earth, apparently there will be a couple types of people, smoking pirates who are evil for no real reason, regular folk who are generally short tempered, and mutants. And now you have Costner, trying to be this cool anti-hero that evokes Snake Plisken, when the only cool thing he has is his boat.

It's easy to admire the production values of a movie like this, Costner spent over half a year making this movie at the expense of his marriage, but when it doesn't really go anywhere with it's premise except some flimsy excuses to have action scenes, it doesn't really matter.

I always remember coming out of the theater with my dad after this movie, which was a long slog that lasted over two hours, both of us thinking, "gee that sucked." Its kinda sad when the best part is seeing the Universal logo covered with water at the very beginning.

Deacon: You know, I thought you were stupid, friend. But I underestimated you; you're a total freakin' retard!